Brian So Rocks

Brian Paterson didn’t know that he had an AVM let alone that he would have to undergo 3 craniotomies all before turning 50. Read about his recovery journey and how he copes with aphasia day to day.

My name is Brian, I’m 51 years old and I live in Buffalo, NY.  On Nov 1, 2017, I felt a sudden numbness in my left leg. I had an important meeting for my work so I had a big decision to make.  Should I go to work or go to the ER? Luckily I chose the ER.

A CT scan revealed I had a right side arteriovenous malformation (AVM), which had to be surgically resected via craniotomy.  I had the craniotomy, which I now have no memory of having, but apparently I took a picture of the scar and put it on Facebook.  My wife tells me I spent 6 days in the ICU, and was sent home to rest and recuperate. I vaguely remember a visiting nurse coming to our home and having trouble responding to simple questions.  They called 911, and I was rushed back to the hospital. The original brain surgery had caused a left front lobe hemorrhage due to blood pressure. A 2nd craniotomy was performed that left me with right side paralysis and aphasia.  Then to add insult to injury (literal brain injury) an angiogram revealed that the original AVM had not been fully resected and they had to reopen the first incision and fix that.

All in all, 3 craniotomies in the space of 3 weeks.  I don’t even remember being in the ICU. The only thing I do remember was the doctors telling me to repeat the phrase “no ifs, ands, or buts”.  I rehearsed it in my head over and over, and although I couldn’t say anything else, I was able to say it. I felt like my life depended on it – which it actually didn’t – but I didn’t realize that at the time.

The next thing I remember is being transferred to the rehab floor of the hospital, where I stayed for a month, confined to a wheelchair and pretty much unable to speak.  I was released from the hospital on December 12, 2017, 3 days from my 50th birthday.

9 months later, I have made great strides in my recovery, but still have a long way to go.  The part in The NeuroNerds podcast that struck me the most was the part about the guilt inherent in being around other people who might be worse off than I am. For example, in my aphasia support group, there are many people worse off than I am.  People who can’t read and write or speak more than a few words. I feel that it could be a lot worse. But that’s not to say that I’m problem free. The aphasia has left me completely unable to multitask, explain complex concepts off the cuff, or handle the slightest bit of pressure or stress.  Almost 11 months from the stroke (or was 2 strokes? I’m not really sure.), that’s my story.

To continue to follow Brian’s  journey follow him at @ashenthorn on Instagram. Also check out his story on featured on Aphasia Threads at Aphasia.org.  Connect with more stroke and brain injury survivors on the YouSoRock Facebook Support Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/yousorock.